Hey there, since I apparently don't value sleep anywhere near enough, I thought I'd do a liveblog of the Scottish Elections as the results come in.

Let's get it rolling shall we?

23:25 - Anyone looking for some background could do worse than to check out the piece I'd did for the Slacktiverse a few weeks ago. Devolved Theocracy mostly focuses on the fringe Scottish Christian Party, but it does feature a general introduction to the Scottish Parliament and this election.

23:30 - I should also note that in the UK tonight there are also local elections in England, elections for the Welsh and Northern Irish assemblies and a referendum on the AV voting system for the Westminster (national) parliament.

23:31 - And in the interest of full disclosure, I voted a straight SNP ticket (although I shall be voting against independence, if/when they get their referendum) and voted "Yes" to AV.

23:35 - As another point of order, it's also worth noting that the first results aren't expected until 2:00am. I'm sure I'll find plenty to snark about until then though. Thanks BBC election coverage!

23:37 - Both The Herald and The Daily Record are predicting a second SNP term of government. Apparently the Record are just going to ignore all their scaremongering from this morning.

23:44 - The Sun also predict an SNP second term. I have to say that one of the few times I questioned my vote in this election was when I heard that they were backing the Nationalists. I'm never comfortable being on the same side as Murdoch, although this appears to be more his desire to only back winners rather than an ideological shift from Salmond and co.

23:48 - Yay! BBC election coverage is back on TV! Something to talk about.

23:49 - Did Brian Taylor just say it was "jacking off time"?
23:49 - Actually, I think it was "jacket off". That makes more sense.

23:53 - A Daily Mail poll put the SNP vote above 50% in both ballots. That would be quite the achievement if it happens, but it IS the Mail.

23:57 - Can we all just ignore George Galloway unless he actually gets a seat? Looking at you, BBC.

00:00 - New reports suggest that we might actually get a few constituency results before 01:00.

00:02 - Current thinking is that the SNP might take all of the constituency seats here in Aberdeen. Good omens there if they can pull it off.

00:07 - The votes in the AV referendum won't be counted until 4pm tomorrow, so don't expect too much about that tonight, I'm afraid.

00:11 - Why are Labour and the Tories so opposed to letting the SNP have their independence referendum? Losing that (which they almost certainly would) would be one hell of a kick to the Scottish National Party, yet no one is willing to go for it. Most odd.

00:17 - What did I say about George Galloway? :(

00:29 - A lot of positive chatter with regards to the SNP so far. Not sure how far this will translate into actual seats.

00:37 - Signs so far suggest that turn-out is down compared to the 2007 election. That really does surprise me, especially with the referendum to vote on as well.

00:43 - I've switched from watching the live coverage on BBC One Scotland to listening to the coverage on BBC Radio Scotland in the hope of having less people TALKING OVER EACH OTHER.

00:48 - First declaration of the night for the Rutherglen constituency... eventually. Apparently it's taking a while to get the candidates onto the stage.

00:50 - Moving to the radio coverage was a definite plus. Who thought that live election coverage could actually be funny?

00:53 - So I should probably give you the link. Not sure if this is UK only, but hopefully not - BBC Radio Scotland

00:54 - And we're finally getting the declaration for Rutherglen: James Kelly wins it for Labour.

00:56 - Even though Labour held the seat, that was a 7.4% swing to the SNP, while the Lib Dems crashed. More or less in line with the predicted national trends.

01:06 - Interesting little debate on the radio just now between two SNP voters - one who supports independence and another who (like me) voted for them to have a strong Scottish voice opposing the destructive policies from Westminster and forging a different path for Scotland.

01:10 - Colin Fox, co-leader of the Scottish Socialist Party, has said that he does not expect to win a seat in this election. At this point, the SSP are a spent force without the charismatic (and perjurous) Tommy Sheridan.

01:12 - The Slacktiverse was kind enough to link this blog on their latest post. They are definitely worth checking out!

01:15 - East Kilbride is declaring now. Linda Fabiani takes the seat for the SNP from Andy Kerr, the former Labour health minister and current Labour finance spokesperson, and the Nationalist's first major scalp of the night.

01:18 - For the statistics fans, that result was a 6.6% swing from Labour to the SNP. If this is the pattern across the country, the SNP are going to be a force to be reckoned with.

01:21 - The Labour narrative at this point is that the SNP's gains have been from the Lib Dems and that their voting share is holding up. That may be true, but that only matters if the regional list votes give Labour a LOT of seats.

01:32 - Hamilton, Larkhall & Stonehouse declaration now. Christina McKelvie make another gain for the SNP from Labour. She is clearly very moved by the victory, and well she should be, as the swing to the SNP was 11%, and they are the only party to increase their share of the vote in the constituency.

01:38 - The Liberal Democrats have been crushed again in Hamilton. The Coalition in Westminster is clearly hurting them, and if the AV referendum does not go their way - as polls suggest it won't - I suspect that they will have to seriously re-assess their position. To take a brief detour to UK wide politics, Nick Clegg has completely misjudged his party's base, who are significantly to the left of him and the way that appears to have embraced the Conservatives' policies in London are hurting him and his party very severely.

01:49 - The Labour talking head think Alex Salmond doesn't really want a referendum on independence, as as loss would be very damaging to the party, She's right (at least on the damage as loss would bring), but her party refuses to call the SNP's bluff. If they keep this up in the next Parliament, Labour could be in dire straits come 2016.

01:55 - Iain Gray, the Scottish Labour leader, has admitted that his seat is in trouble. That's quite the admission, and another fantastic sign for the SNP.

01:59 - I will say that despite her Dickensian Villain manifesto, Annabel Goldie comes across very well on the radio. Quite frankly, she deserves better than just leading the Scottish Tories, who simply have no chance of achieving power.

02:03 - Are there Conservative politicians anywhere in the world that don't feel the need to kick the poor? Struan Stevenson is currently on Radio Scotland suggesting that those in Scotland who don't pay (income) tax are inclined to vote SNP or Labour as they have been "promised the Kingdom of Heaven" and are essentially too stupid to understand that it isn't achievable. Can't imagine why people in that situation wouldn't want to vote for a condescending git like you Struan...

02:10 - Clydesdale declaration now. Aileen Campbell takes another seat from Labour to the SNP with an 8.9% swing. The SNP are playing a blinder early. For those looking for election trivia, there was no Lib Dem candidate running here as their papers were filed too late.

02:21 - Nicola Sturgeon is doing her best to dance around the issue of a referendum on independence. Struan Stevenson, however, is now pushing conspiracy theories about the SNP. Someone get him off my radio, please.

02:28 - Is Iain Gray actually incapable of expressing emotion? You'd think he'd have some kind of response to the utter humping his party has taken so far.

02:33 - STV are currently predicting 59 constituency seats for the SNP based on current trends. Labour on 10, with the Tories and Conservatives on 2 each. Beyond a landslide if that happens.

02:38 - That should be "Tories and Lib Dems on 2 each" above. Oops.

02:43 - Current reports suggest that we'll be seeing a number of declarations from Glasgow around 03:00. Will the SNP trend continue?.

02:49 - In the latest wacky theory from Radio Scotland, the Lib Dem crash is down to a failure to stand up for the coalition. Personally, I'd have thought that the only way to make things WORSE for the Lib Dems would be to talk up the coalition.

02:51 - Two results. Labour gain Eastwood from the Tories, and hold Uddingston & Bellshill. However, Uddingston did see a 9% swing to the SNP. This is certainly shaping up to be the SNP's night.

02:54 - Just to go back to Uddingston - it has gone from a safe Labour seat to a fairly tight marginal with a majority of only 714 seats. Almost unbelievable.

02:58 - Looking at the figures now, the Eastwood result is almost as dramatic, with a swing to Labour of 8.7% and the SNP also gaining votes, while the Tories and Lib Dems both seeing dramatic losses.

03:02 - Lib Dems have lost their deposit in all five seats they have contested so far. Utter, utter destruction.

03:03 - Airdrie & Shotts goes to the SNP, who get over 50% of the vote outright. 5.5% swing to the Nats from Labour, and the Liberals look to have lost another deposit. They could be in real financial trouble by the end of this election at this rate.

03:05 - Glasgow Southside declaration: Nicola Sturgeon, the SNP's deputy leader, has taken the seat with a 9.7% swing from Labour. Three of the SNP's four MSPs so far have been women, incidentally.

03:10 - Dundee City East is an SNP hold, with 64.2% of the vote for Shona Robison. We may well be looking at a Nationalist majority government.

03:18 - Shorter Struan Stevenson: "I'm not saying the poor shouldn't be allowed to vote, just that they're financially irresponsible idiots blundering into bankrupting the country with their demands for help with their basic needs".

03:21 - Greenock & Inverclyde is held by Labour, but with a massively reduced majority.

03:22 - By the way, the Lib Dems have finally kept a deposit with Greenock.

03:25 - Former Conservative leader David McLetchie has conceded defeat in his Edinburgh constituency to the BBC, although there is no official word as of yet.

03:26 - In English news, Labour have taken control of Sheffield council from the Lib Dems. This is a bad result for the LDs, and Nick Clegg in particular, who is MP for Sheffield Hallam.

03:28 - Tavish Scott, the Liberal Democrat leader, holds onto the Shetland Islands seat, despite a strong local independent challenger.

03:30 - Iain Gray - the Labour leader - holds onto East Lothian but with a majority of only 151 his run at the top of Labour is surely over. Despite all this, there is still no sign of any emotion from Mr Gray.

03:36 - A few quick results before I catch some sleep for a few hours: Orkney is held by the Liberal Democrats, Falkirk West is held by the SNP, Glasgow Maryhill & Springburn is held by Labour, the SNP hold Dundee West and finally Labour hold Coatbridge & Chryston. I should be back up around 7am. Hopefully the picture should be a lot more clear by then.

----

08:12 - Sorry for the delay, apparently I'm more tired than I realised. We're looking at an SNP landslide here. They have 44 seats already with a lot of seats still in play. Overall, they've gained 20 seats already, and there's still the chance of an outright majority. I've got to get to work but hopefully I can get a bit more in depth later today.

----

09:27 - OK, here's the catch-up. The SNP are now on 47 seats, with nearest rivals Labour sitting at 20. The BBC's current prediction is for an SNP majority government with 68 MSPs (a majority of 3). The Liberal Democrats collapse has continued unabated, as they have still only won the Orkney and Shetland seats.

09:35 - And in more personal news, the SNP have lived up to the rumours and taken all four seats here in Aberdeen, while in my parents' constituency of Dumfriesshire, Elaine Murray overturned a notional Tory majority in the redrawn seat to remain in parliament. I'm a little mixed on that one, to be honest. In general, I'd rather have Labour than the Tories, but my encounters with Murray have been consistently negative since high school - she really doesn't take criticism well.

09:41 - A few other notable results: The SNP took Edinburgh Pentlands from former Conservative leader David McLetchie (as he acknowledged earlier in the night), and Renfrewshire North & West where Tory leader Annabel Goldie came in third place (although she is expected to return to Parliament on the party list). In a very tight race, the SNP have gained Glasgow Anniesland with a majority of only 7 seats.

09:44 - Also, thankfully, George Galloway failed to win a seat from the Glasgow Regional List, so hopefully no one feels the need to mention him again. I certainly won't.

09:49 - West of Scotland Regional List results are now in - 3 seats for Labour and two each for the SNP and the Conservatives. As predicted, Annabel Goldie will return to Holyrood. Her future is far more secure than Iain Gray's I would imagine, while Tavish Scott (Lib Dem leader) may hold on, depending on how well he can shift the blame for the collapse to the national party. I suspect he might do alright, as the Liberals have not done much better in either England or Wales.

09:56 - Of note to readers from the Slacktiverse, so far the Scottish Christian Party have seen a slight drop in the number of votes received. They will probably be around for a while yet (and it should be noted that we've yet to get results from the Highlands and Islands list, where they have the best chance of getting a seat), but I think this may be the start of a long decline for these theocratic hypocrites.

10:26 - Things are looking to slow down for a while here, with no more results expected until 12:00. The heat is already rising on Iain Gray though.

10:57 - The SNP will not be getting any seats from the North-East Regional List. Why? Because they won all TEN constituency seats here. "Landslide" is starting to look like too small a term.

11:29 - Recriminations have already started within the Labour Party, both within Scotland and nationally. Former First Minister Henry McLeish criticised the Scottish campaign for not recognising how Holyrood differs from Westminster, not taking the SNP seriously (which, considering they were the governing party going into the election, is a pretty serious charge) and being too negative. At the national level, Roy Hattersley has called for the Labour Party to take a lead from the SNP and offer a "genuine alternative" to the coaltion. Can't say that stealing from the SNP's policies worked too well in Scotland, but it might have more success in UK wide elections.

11:42 - Caithness, Sutherland & Ross moves from the Lib Dems to the SNP, who nudge another step closer to that overall majority. Still waiting on the exact figures, but this appears to be a huge swing to the SNP here.

11:48 - From the "This should not be happening file": The SNP get a regional list seat in the North-East despite winning all ten constituency seats. That's an astonishing level of support for the Nationalists. Labour take 3, the Tories 2 and the Liberals 1. SNP are now just 14 seats short of overall control of Holyrood.

12:09 - Another SNP gain as they take Skye, Lochaber & Badenoch from the Lib Dems. At this point, the question is not if the SNP get a majority, but simply how big it will be.

12:12 - SNP hold the safe seat of Inverness & Nairn as Fergus Ewing is re-elected.

12:44 - The SNP take Stirling from Labour, leaving them only 8 seats short of that elusive majority.

13:06 - SNP hold Nah h-Eileanan an Iar (Western Isles). Seven to go.

13:12 - With the Nationalist victory edging closer, I'm spotting more and more bitterness about the Union... but from the English. The way many of these people talk you'd think England had no social problems of its own.

13:51 - A flurry of declarations while I was busy at work: South of Scotland list gives the SNP four, Labour 2 and the Libs 1. In the constituencies, the SNP gain Fife North East from the LDs, Dunermline from Labour and hold Mid-Fife & Glenrothes. Labour manage to hold onto Cowdenbeath. Just one more seat for an SNP majority according to my calculations, but I am feeling pretty tired, so don't quote me on that.

13:55 - Update on Dunfermline - the SNP gain was actually from the Liberals, who were pushed down into third by Labour.

13:57 - I should have known not to trust my own arithmatic on this little sleep. The BBC put the SNP on 62, THREE short of the majority.

14:07 - Argyll & Bute is held by the SNP's Mike Russell. This is pretty much a foregone conclusion at this point.

14:25 - SNP take Kirkcaldy from Labour. One to go now folks...

14:32 - Just had a very excited man run into my work to inform everyone here that the SNP have their majority. Still trying to get that confirmed.

14:33 - And there is it is. Clackmannanshire & Dunblane has gone for the Nats, leaving them with a one seat majority and three regional lists still to declare. Amazing results.

15:02 - With still no sign of those last three regional lists, I'll wrap up the liveblogging here. I should be back later this evening with a new post with those results, my overall thoughts on the election (including where the major parties go from here) and possibly even an early look at the results of the AV referendum. Catch you later.

First debate is just about to start on ITV1. Subject set to be domestic affairs. Let's see how it goes.

20:33 - Alistair Stewart is hosting.

20:34 - Nick Clegg gets the first opening statement. Focusing on a Lib Dem victory is possible.

20:35 - Gordon Brown on now. Nothing of note, really.

20:36 - Cameron starts out by apologising for the Expenses Scandal. Interesting approach. Still banging on about a "jobs tax". It's called National Insurance, bawbag.

20:38 - First question is about immigration. Brown is very proud of how many people he's kept out. Cameron wants to reduce immigration. Err, won't the current state of the economy do jus that? Clegg wants to include regional controls on where immigrants can go.

20:42 - Cameron and Brown discuss setting an immigration cap. Cameron wants one, Brown doesnt' Gordon is also - hilariously - claiming that the fall in immigration is due to his immigration policies. Clegg is making the most sense.

20:44 - Brown talks into Cameron's time. Dave won't be happy about that.

20:46 - Are we getting more than one question tonight?

20:47 - Oh thank God. We're now onto crime. Stewart points out that this is a devolved issue in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

20:48 - Cameron wants the Castle Doctrine in England. Fuck. That. Noise.

20:49 - Clegg wants to spend the money currently aside for the ID Card scheme to spend on more police, and to work more with young offenders to prevent recidivism.  Look! Funded policies!

20:51 - And on the stupid train, Brown wants to give people the right to sue the police to force them to do specific things. No way THAT could be abused of course.

20:52 - Cameron actually suggests treating, rather than jailing, drug addicts. Wonders will never cease.

20:57 - Stewart is losing control of the debate. And Cameron isn't helping his image with "My mother was a magistrate".

21:00 - ITV website suggests Clegg is the most popular so far.

21:01 - Cutting the size of the Commons make politicians more credible, according to Call Me Dave.

21:02 - Clegg wants recall elections. I can't support that.

21:03 - Brown says he agrees with Clegg. Clegg's face is incredulous.

So the British Election has finally been confirmed for May 6th. We've all known this for a while now, but it's now official. So let's see where the parties lie at the moment.

Labour

Pros: Instinctual fear of the Tories is, rather sadly, one of Labour's biggest weapons at the moment. Alistair Darling did well in the Chancellor's Debate on Channel 4, but that really was't seen by too many people.Oh, and The Guardian's April Fool's Joke:




Cons: They've been in power for over a decade, and the economy went horribly to shit very recently. Also, raising National Insurance is hardly a vote winner. That this isn't an instant kill says a hell of a lot about the current state of the Tories.

Conservatives

Pros: They're the traditional choice to replace Labour, and they're promising not to implement some of Labour's tax rises. David Cameron is perhaps more likeable than Brown (although the public schoolboy upbringing is a turn off for some voters). Some commentators have suggested that Cameron's wife's pregnancy may also be a benefit to the party.

Cons: As I said, Cameron's posh upbringing is a negative for some people, compounded by similar backgrounds for a lot of his Shadow Cabinet. They're also taking a lot of flack for offering tax cuts while still claiming to be able to reduce the deficit quicker than the other parties. And George Osborne is a bloody idiot.

Liberal Democrats

Pros: They've been pretty much right about everything for the past few years. They opposed the War In Iraq, Vince Cable saw the financial crisis coming and suggested things that would have lessened its impact. Cable is also well liked in the country (explaining why he's on all the campaign literature and going everywhere with Clegg).

Cons: While Cable is well liked, Clegg is a virtual unknown who looks like a teenager. The Lib Dems also have their perpetual problem of being completely unable to say in public what they've been right about (although they're getting better at that). Finally, good old fashioned apathy - that old feeling that voting Liberal is a waste because they "always" come third. As if voting for them couldn't change that.

And since I'm here in Scotchland, I'll chuck in some thoughts on the SNP:

Scotttish National Party

Pros: They've done a pretty good job in the Scottish Parliament and remain relatively popular despite being midway through the term. They're the only real party of the left still standing, especially important in more traditionally left-leaning Scotland.

Cons: Alex Salmond is utterly delusional, and his talk of gaining TWENTY seats is not encouraging anyone to take them seriously. Furthermore, the SNP's support in Holyrood is, in my opinion, at least partially based on the limitations there that prevent the party from making Scotland indepedent - something that is within the power of Westminster. And last, while they retain a lot of popularity, they are still a governing party in the middle of their term - and one who failed to enact their key election pledge (due to Labour wrangling from London, but still)...

So that's my thoughts at the start of the campaign. Let's see how it pans out.

Hey there, finally got round to doing this. Who knew my life was so busy?

Let's get started with the comics from last week.

Shopping List:

Avengers: The Initiative #34
Captain America #604
Marvels Project #7
New Avengers #63
X-Factor #203
Secret Six #17 & 18
Hellblazer #265
Angel #31
Angel: Lorne
The Guild #1
2000AD Prog 1677

Secret Six #17 &18

While I've not been reading Blackest Night, I have to say that several of the tie-ins have been very good. These issues (along with part one of the story, found in Suicide Squad #67) is one of the examples. Tightly plotted by Gail Simone and John Ostrander, this story has been a joy to read and given me a great jumping on point for Secret Six, which I've been looking for since I read the first trade. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, as this is a story that deserves to be read, but it certainly has a great amount of action, suspense and twists - more than enough to keep me turning the pages! Highly recommended.

Hellblazer #265

Another title I don't usually pick up, but with Simon Bisley on art and a punk-based story, I figured it was worth a read - and I was right. While the political subtext of this issue is about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the gonads*, it's still an engaging tale of how things change and how more things stay the same (with a side order of a dummy that might be possessed by Sid Vicious). Bisley's artwork is as expressive as ever, calling to mind his classic Dredd strips. Definitely worth a look, and good enough to bring me back to read part two next week.

* In case you missed it, it's "DON'T VOTE TORY!"

The Guild #1

While I've only seen a few episodes of the webseries, I've been a fan of Felicia Day's acting since I first saw her in Season Seven of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, so I decided to give this a go. It was definitely a good decision, as this was a great read. The book acts as an origin story for Cyd, the lead character (played by Day in the webseries) and as such requires basically no prior knowledge of the show. The plot of the first issue shows how Cyd gets involved in gaming and the MMORPG that the show takes place in, while also going into what is happening elsewhere in her life. The book reads like an autobiography, and while I'm not sure how accurate that claim is, it certainly makes it a very engaging read. The art is also very good, and nicely varies the style to differentiate between real life and the world of the MMORPG. My biggest complaint about The Guild is that it is only three issues long - I suspect I'll have to get online and watch the series to get my fix sated!


And now this week's shopping list:

Fantastic Four #577
Punisher #15
Realm Of Kings: Inhumans #5
Detective Comics #863

No 2000AD this week due to a delivery error, so I'll be gettingtwo issues next week. A very small week this time around, so I comment on each issue individually.

Fantastic Four #577

Jonathan Hickman's run on FF continues to impress, ably assisted by amazing art (better stop the alliteration now before I turn into Stan Lee) from Dale Eaglesham. While this issue is largely build up and mythmaking, it is still a worthwhile read that will almost certainly turn out to be very important in the grand scheme of things.

Punisher #15

Frankenstein Punisher vs Zombie Nazis. Yes. This is an awesome comic. And yet, for all the B Movie joy of action in the FrankenCastle arc, Rick Remender still manages to really draw out the emotional core of Frank's character. Castle is a man who punishes virtually every crime with murder. And yet in doing that, hasn't Frank been committing murder all these years? That's the question Punisher has been asking himself all through this arc, and while I'm sure the final answer in the concluding issue will be "NO! Now die, scumbag!", facing up to it has been a great way to really get under the skin of Frank Castle.

Realm Of Kings: Inhumans #5

An action packed finale to this mini-series which sets up both the new status quo for the Inhumans and the Kree and leads into the Thanos Imperative. DnA's knack for characterisation is also on display here, as Medusa appears to be cracking under the strain of leadership, while Gorgon's senses of honour and duty put him in conflict and Crystal is driven away by her sister's deception. Good reading all round.

Detective Comics #863

The recent news that Greg Rucka would be leaving DC to focus on non-comics projects came as quite a shock, and after reading this fantastic issue, a very sad one. While initially I was more of a fan of the Batwoman strip than The Question back-up, this issue has flipped my view and I only hope that Ms Montoya will not fade away into obscurity like Jamie Reyes has. Even so, the main story was a good one and the twist in the tail was a great hook for next month. All the best to Greg with his novels and other work, but I do hope he will come back to these characters sometime soon.

And that wraps it up for now. Due to the Easter holiday, comic deliveries in the UK won't be until Friday this week, but hopefully I'll see you before then.

Just under half an hour to go folks, until WrestleMania kicks off.The latest rumours suggest that we'll be opening with the Tag Titles and closing with the Career v Streak match.

Should be a good one, see you soon!

23:49 - Reports are coming in that the dark match is a 26-man Battle Royale. I'm watching a bit of Jersey Girl on BBC One until the show starts.

23:56 - The adverts are on Sky Box Office now, so the show is about to start.

23:58 - First snack of the night: Pretzels.

23:59 - Yoshi Tatsu wins the Battle Royale. It's WRESTLEMANIA TIME kids!

00:00 - Fighter jet fly-over. Fancy. Fantasia sings "America The Beautiful".

00:05 - Slim Jim! Oh yeahhh!

00:06 - Tag titles to open. What's up? What's up? What's up?

00:08 - Commentators are Cole, Lawler and Striker.

00:14 - ShoMiz retain in a short match due to the Knock Out Punch off a blind tag. Call it *1/2

00:17 - Legacy EXPLODES next. DiBiase is out first.

00:18 - Cody's flesh coloured trunks are deeply disturbing to me.

00:25 - Is it just me or was Cody's knee drop really funny? Also, Priceless turns on each other, Shocker!

00:28 - DOUBLE HANGING DDT!

00:29 - Punt to Cody, RKO to Ted, Randy wins, Priceless still has no heat.

00:30 - That drop down screen is good stuff. Match was **. Not a fantastic start to the show.

00:33 - Vickie Guerrero is still the best heel in WWE. The rest of the female heels can, on the other hand, fuck right off.

00:35 - Money In The Bank time. Kofi's hair has gone deeply stupid.

00:36 - Savannah is the guest ring announcer, in case anyone cares.

00:42 - Kane chokeslams Bourne to the outside.

00:43 - First slow climb of the match from Ziggler.

00:46 - Air Bourne off the ladder. Which was deeply stupid because Evan coukld have easily grabbed the case otherwise.

00:50 - Kofi Kingston is using ladder-stilts. That's just stupid.

00:54 - Jack Swagger wins. That was out of the blue. **3/4. Someone really needs to pick the pace up soon.

00:57 - Hall of Fame Package. Uecker has some decent lines. DiBiase's laugh still rules.

00:59 - And Antonio Inoki makes it to WrestleMania.

01:05 - Let's see if Sheamus and the Tripper can get us over ***

01:13 - Apparently Ric Flair references are still allowed in the WWE. Either that or Cole is going to be fired tomorrow.

01:17 - Sheamus really has stepped up his game (no pun intended). He's looking like a veteran.

01:18 - HHH avoids a Super Razor's Edge and a Pump Kick. Sheamus avoids the Pedigree.

01:22 - They need to drop these dead spots. It's killing the crowd.

01:23 - Trips wins with the Pedigree. That finish was rather sudden considering the pace of the rest of the match, but it still got us ***.

01:25 - That Slim Jim ad was fucking creepy.

01:28 - Punk v Mysterio now.

01:31 - Rey has an Avatar costume this year. Meh.

01:35 - Rey just took a Wheelbarrow Buster to the steps. Ouch.

01:39 - Punk dodges the Frogsplash. Running knee, Bulldog is avoided.

01:40 - And Serena prevents the 619. Rey gets it on the other side and defeats Punk with a splash. Could have been so much better: ***.

01:43 - Bret v Vince next.

01:49 - Vince is cutting a promo. It's now a Lumberjack Match, with the Hart family as Lumberjacks. Oh yeah, that's not going to backfire AT ALL.

01:53 - Bruce Hart is refereeing. Wearing sunglasses.

01:55 - IT WAS A SET-UP ALL ALONG, BAH GAWD!

01:57 - The Dynasty hit a Hart Attack to the floor. Vince is taking a kicking.

02:00 - This is getting boring very quickly. Please get to the finish.

02:06 - Vince taps to the Sharpshooter. They could had this take up half the time and got a better Punk/Rey match. 1/2*

02:08 - WrestleMania 28 is coming from... Atlanta.

02:13 - Jericho v Edge next. Decent video package but not great.

02:20 - Sexton Hardcastle reference from Striker. That's a bit out there.

02:23 - Edgecution off the top gets 2. Crowd are very muted for this match.

02:25 - Jericho counters a Spear into the Walls. Nicely done.

02:29 - Jericho counters another Spear with the Codebreaker. Still only gets 2.

02:31 - Looks like Taker and Shawn may have to save their second consecutive Mania.

02:33 - Jericho retains with a belt shot and a Codebreaker. That was unexpected. **3/4.

02:34 - Edge is going a bit crazy. Spear off the announcer's table and through the security wall. Err, ouch.

02:39 - Battle Royale recap lets me run to the bathroom. Women are out next.

02:45 - Vickie wins with Frogsplash. Far smaller reaction that I expected.

02:46 - Cena/DAVE~! next. We close with Career v Streak then. Good choice.

02:50 - DAVE~! is out first. Wonder what John's wacky entrance will be this year?

02:52 - The Air Force? Seriously? Fuck me.

02:54 - RAPADOOOOO!

02:55 - Massive "CENA SUCKS" sign behind John-boy. Heh.

02:58 - Cena is getting some pretty big boos early on.

03:02 - Fans are pretty solidly behind Batista here. Wrestling has been pretty basic so far.

03:04 - Cena slips out of a Demonbomb and goes for the STF/Dry-hump.

03:08: BIG Attitude Adjustment but it only gets 2. Cena's having doubts, but the kids are rallying behind him.

03:10 - DAVE taps out in another underwhelming match. John is the Champ - but will Swagger Cash In? Match was **1/2. The Main Event has a mountain to climb here.

03:14 - Taker/Shawn hype package, so looks like Swagger isn't cashing in.

03:18 - Shawn's out first. Standard entrance for him, but I suspect we'll be having some Druids for the Taker.

03:20: DONG! Lights out! Taker rises out of the floor - no Druids, but a cool robe.

03:25 - SHAWN opens with the throat cut gesture. Taker doesn't take too kindly to that.

03:20 - HBK is targeting the knee, which seems to be working. Figure Four is blocked though.

03:33 - CHOKESLAM gives up the first big near-fall of the match.

03:34 - HBK slips out of a Tombstone and grabs an Anklelock. Now Grapevined. Could UT actually tap out?

03:35 - Taker catches a Moonsault to the floor and hits a TOMBSTONE ON THE FLOOR. Taker needs to get Shawn back inside though.

03:37 - UT throws a doctor aside and rolls HBK back inside. Two count only.

03:38 - Last Ride fails when Undertaker's knee buckles. Savage Elbow from Shawn eats knee.

03:39 - Hell's Gate countered to a roll up... 2 count. SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Near fall.

03:41 - Taker is prepping the announce table.

03:42 - Michaels avoids a Last Ride through the table and hits a Superkick. MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP AND THROUGH THE TABLE.

03:44 - Taker cannot stand. Lawler thinks his leg is broken and given the impact of that Moonsault, he may well be right.

03:44 - SWEET CHIN MUSIC... for 2!!!!

03:45 - CHOKESLAM! Taker's leg is in serious trouble here (or this is the best sell job in history).

03:46 - TOMBSTONE. Shawn KICKED OUT. Taker is reduced to talking to himself.

03:48 - Taker goes to do the cut-throat gesture... and notices blood on his arm. Taker looks to give Shawn mercy... Shawn slaps him in the face... TOMBSTONE WITH AUTHORITY! Taker wins, and Shawn is DONE.

03:50 - Replays show Taker actually JUMPED on that Tombstone. Wowzer.

03:52 - Taker helps Michaels to his feet. Handshake... and a hug. Undertaker actually hugged HBK.

03:53 - Shawn gets his moment in the sun, and is close to tears.

The match is almost impossible to rate. Might have to wait and give it another viewing tomorrow. I'll give it **** for now.

03:56 - And we fade out on Shawn walking off the stage.

----

Overall, it was a good show, but didn't really live up to it's potential. Still, worth a watch to see Shawn's final match if nothing else. Surprised Swagger didn't Cash In either. I'd give it a C overall.

Just over 28 hours to go until WrestleMania XXVI now, and the excitement is really starting to build, so it's time to look over the card and try to predict what we'll be seeing from Glendale tomorrow.

First up, here's the card:

• Eve Torres, Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Mickie James vs. WWE Women's Champion Michelle McCool, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Alicia Fox, Vickie Guerrero & Layla
• Triple H vs. Sheamus
• Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
• CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio (If Rey Loses, He Must Join The Straight Edge Society)
• No Holds Barred Match: Bret 'Hitman' Hart vs. Vince McMahon
• Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Matt Hardy vs. Evan Bourne vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jack Swagger vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston
• WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match: WWE United States Champion The Miz & The Big Show (c) v John Morrison & R-Truth
• Career vs. Streak: Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker (Match Can Only End By Pinfall Or Submission)
• World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge
• WWE Championship Match: Batista (c) vs. John Cena

This is definitely one of the best 'Mania's (at least on paper) for a few years now. But then again, this time last year I would have said the same thing about WrestleMania XXV and what a disappointment that turned out to be.

Anyway, let's take a more detailed look at the individual matches:

Eve Torres, Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Mickie James vs. WWE Women's Champion Michelle McCool, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Alicia Fox, Vickie Guerrero & Layla

It's the annual "Shove all the women on the card" match! Hopefully they'll be allowed introductions this year, at least. Anyway, this is unlikely to be a technical classic, but assuming they put it on early enough it could still get a good reaction: considering how much heat CHAVO gets for using Eddie's move, if Vickie hits a frogsplash she may well be the biggest heel in the company come the end of the show.

Prediction: I'll be getting a beer. Err, I mean, the faces. Gotta send those folks home happy.

Triple H vs. Sheamus

Gym Buddies EXPLODE!  Ahem. This is one of the hardest matches to predict on this show, both in terms of match quality and winner. On the one hand, Sheamus has never shown much in terms of actual in-ring skill, but on the other after last year's disappointing finale, you would assume that HHH will want to do a lot better this year. Maybe Sheamus will show us some hidden depths of talent, but more likely is that Hunter will have to try to carry the Irishman - and as good a wrestler as he is, he's not up to the fabled Broomstick Standard of prime Flair or Michaels. It will probably be good, but not great.

As to the winner, while it's clear that Sheamus is the chosen one to be a new main eventer, I suspect the Tripper will be busting out his ridiculous "Just beating a main eventer clean doesn't help you" philosophy (presumably developed AFTER WWE put him over Austin, Foley, The Rock and all the rest) to justify getting the pin.

Prediction: Triple H

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

I've been through the desert in a feud with no heat,
It felt good to be out of the rain.

Yeah, for a match with such a long build, they sure screwed the pooch here, didn't they? While Randy's face turn seems to have taken well enough, Cody and Ted are pretty much heatless at the moment and I don't see this match helping them much. However, with the release of The Marine 2 on the horizon, I see Ted walking out of 'Mania with a notch in the win column. Wonder if Bob Holly will be willing to team with Cody again after this?

Prediction: Ted DiBiase

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

The stipulation in this one practically screams "Rey's losing", which would also build to a rematch down the line - probably with Punk's hair on the line against Rey's Mask, but is WrestleMania really the place to be starting feuds? The other niggle is that this feud is already intensely personal - Punk went after Rey's kids, never a good idea in wrestling. It might not need the "Rey is forced to be Punk's lackey" part to have legs to keep going. So perhaps Mysterio gets the duke after all. Whatever the eventual outcome, this is my bet for sleeper hit of the show. It (probably) won't be better than 'Taker v HBK, but it could give them a good run for their money.

Prediction: Forced to choose, I'll go with my instincts. Punk gets the win and WWE finally forgives him for not taking the Undertaker's advice back in October.

No Holds Barred Match: Bret 'Hitman' Hart vs. Vince McMahon

You don't need me to tell you who's winning this do you? You think Bret, after all these years of insisting he would never work for McMahon again, is going to JOB? Oh, hell no! Of course, this isn't going to be a Hitman mat classic of old - Bret's had a stroke, he just isn't capable anymore - instead I foresee one hell of a beatdown until Vince is forced to tap for his life in the Sharpshooter.

And on a personal note, why did they have to go and change Bret's music? This is just about perfect:


Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Matt Hardy vs. Evan Bourne vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jack Swagger vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston

With a Money In The Bank PPV set for the summer, this appears likely to be the last one for WrestleMania. Which means it also their last chance to have someone cash in at Mania, something I suspect WWE would like to do. So who is getting the briefcase? Realistically, the only people with a shot at winning are Kofi Kingston, Christian and Drew McIntyre. The other seven guys are there to throw themselves around and get the crowd nice and excited. Kofi cashing in straight away wouldn't fit his traditional happy fair-play babyface character, so he's out. That leaves Drew and Christian. Drew is Vince's pet project and Christian needs a career boost rather fast before he sinks into midcarder for life status - a big waste of talent. So who is getting the briefcase?

If Christian gets it, he's got an easy to build to a big feud with his storyline brother (and presumptive next WHC) Edge. BUT their last feud back in 2001 was pretty underwhelming, and WWE has never really had the same faith in Captain Charisma that the Internet has.

If Drew gets it, he can continue his current gimmick by losing his shot, but having Vince erase the loss and give him back the briefcase BUT McIntyre is still pretty underwhelming in the ring, and pushing that gimmick too far will ruin his credibility.

So who is getting the briefcase?

Prediction: Christian. It's a bit out there, but Drew can win at the MITB PPV (even have Vince set it up for him after he is "cheated" at Mania) and Christian can rescue his career - at least short term.

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match: WWE United States Champion The Miz & The Big Show (c) v John Morrison & R-Truth

Another "Get the guys on the show" match. It should be acceptable mid-card filler, but nothing to write home about. Also expect to see Daniel Bryan and David Otunga get involved in some fashion.

Prediction: ShowMiz

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge

Edge has successfully built the Spear up to be his Jericho-killing weapon at WrestleMania, so expect to see it teased many times before it is succesfully deployed by Edge. In fact, I think we could see a Spear from Jericho first. However, in the end, the winner of this match is not in doubt. The quality is perhaps a little more shakey, but both should deliver on the night. The real question with this match is whether or not Edge will still be Champ when WrestleMania comes to a close. If Drew wins the ladder match, I suspect he will - if Christian wins, Edge will not.

Prediction: Edge

WWE Championship Match: Batista (c) vs. John Cena

The Mighty DAVE~! has finally rediscovered his bastardy side, taking the WWE Title from Cena mere minutes after he won it at Elimination Chamber. Acting as Vince's enforcer, Batista has done a fantastic job at eminating the aura of a perfect dick, with everything from his clothes to his words to (of course) his actions. Cena has continued as he usually does, but his association with the Hitman may even quiet down some of John's more vocal detractors come Sunday night.

The biggest potential problem with this match may well end up being it's placing on the card. I have heard rumours that WWE plan to put this on last, and while normally this would be best practice, with UT v HBK getting such a massive build, it will be very hard for any match to follow it. Hopefully WWE has learned from last year, and indeed Hogan v Rock from WrestleMania 18, and will close the show with the biggest match of the night, otherwise John and Dave will have a hell of a job making anyone in attendance care about their encounter.

Prediction: John Cena

Career vs. Streak: Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

Rather than try to explain this fantastic feud, I instead present this rather impressive video:


Last year's match was a worthy winner of Match Of The Year, but will all the raised expectations can Shawn and Undertaker meet them? I think they can. The added "No DQ, No Count Out" stips allow them to work a very different, but equally exciting match, and for all that he is definitely getting on in years, HBK is still one of the best wrestlers on the planet. And, equally importantly, this is WRESTLEMANIA. The Showcase Of The Immortals. The Grandaddy Of Them All. These two men know that, and they WILL deliver.

As to who wins? While it's tempting to speculate about just how much hatred Shawn could generate by ending the Streak in some dastardly display off heelish genius, I just don't see it happening. I refer you to the words of former WWE Creative Team member Chris Gough, "you can always take back retirement. But you can't take back a loss in the Streak". That is what it boils down to, and that is how it shall play out.

But I'll still be on the edge of my seat for every near fall. Because it's Shawn Michaels, it's The Undertaker, and it's WRESTLEMANIA.


I'll see you here tomorrow for the LiveBlog.

P.S. Due to a number of factors, I've not been able to get to the comic shop yet, so I'll be doing a double edition of Loo's Comic Picks next week.

Delivery decided not to deliver to my local shop today, so this week's comics reviews are delayed.

Also, WrestleMania LiveBlog this Sunday.

Also also, I need a new profile picture where I don't look like Perez fucking Hilton.

Yet another attempt to get some regular content flowing here, this time ripped off from
Chris Sims. It's a simple enough formula, every week I post what I buy at the comic shop and then add in some thoughts on a few of them. If you want to discuss it further, or talk about one of the comics I didn't mention, we can do that in the Comments.

First up, this week's shopping list:

Siege #3
Siege: Embedded #3
Incredible Hulk #608
Hercules: Fall Of An Avenger #1
Realm Of Kings: Imperial Guard #5
Guardians Of The Galaxy #24
Booster Gold #30
2000AD Prog 1676

So, some thoughts:

Booster Gold

BG wraps up the storyline in Coast City, as Booster manages to save his sister, but finally allows the city to die (with a little unseen prodding from his future self). This was an entertaining issue, and continues the theme of Booster as the conflicted hero, as he struggles to allow wrong to happen to protect the timestream. My one concern is the ever more confusing Carter family tree, which has now expanded to include Booster, his sister Michelle (aka Goldstar), Rip Hunter (Booster's son from the future, although Booster doesn't know that yet), Daniel Carter (Booster's ancestor, who occasionally dons the Supernova costume) and Jon Carter (Booster's Dad and evil Supernova from the future). I hope Dan Jurgens has a clear plan for what he's going to do with all these people, because otherwise this is could easily lead into X Files levels of confusion and annoyance for the readers.

Siege #3

Marvel have disproved their critics on at least one front with this title - they've managed to get three-quarters of the way through an event book without any delays. This issue is always very fast paced and action-packed, which makes it a very fun read, albeit not a very deep one. It's also interesting to see Obama order Osborn arrested for treason. Looks like hanging around with Spidey did him some good. I'll not spoil the end of the issue for you, but I'm a little unclear as to what the creature who appears is. I can make an educated guess, but it's a little annoying. Also, (and this may have been explained in Dark Avengers which I've not been reading) why is Norman's face green? Still, it is a fun read overall and I look forward to the next issue.

Guardians Of The Galaxy #24

My final pick for this week is the second to last issue of GotG before the hiatus for the upcoming "Thanos Imperative". There has been a lot of talk across the Net regarding whether or not the Cosmic Marvel titles will return after this hiatus, and if the rumours are true and we are reaching the end of this run, then it has at least built to a satisfying climax. However, it would be a waste of a fantastic series to cancel the book after only two years. Hopefully the Thanos event will inspire more readers to come back to the book afterwards.

That's it for this week. See you again next week.

This is going to get ranty folks. Just a heads up before we start.

I've been following TNA more or less since it began back in 2002. It's not always been the greatest show on the air, but it has always had the tools to be great; the potential to suceed. That's why I stuck with it, through all the bullshit, because they had everything they needed, they just needed to figure out how to arrange it. And, for the last quarter of 2009, it looked like they had finally cracked it.

Since I'm going to get deeply critical later on, I'll quickly recap this all too brief period. The first PPV when fans really started to think that TNA had upped their game was Bound For Glory V, in October 2009. While it wasn't a perfect card, it was still damned good. The X and Tag Division both put on incredible spotfests while Kurt Angle and Matt Morgan put on a fantastic match which elevated Morgan's standing immensely and in the main event, Sting put over AJ Styles in what was billed as Sting's last match (more on that later) allowing AJ to retain the TNA World Title. This show was so good that even Kevin Nash looked good.

Following this, the Main Event Mafia finally disbanded (with Booker T leaving the promotion due to his over-sized ego and lazy as shit wrestling), and it seemed that the younger stars were finally going to get pushed properly. Even more impressively, TNA acquired Desmond Wolfe (a.k.a. Nigel McGuiness, former ROH Champion) and put him straight into a fantastic program with Kurt Angle. Their first match occurred at Turning Point in November. This was, in my eyes, the best TNA PPV of the year, and also better than anything WWE managed as well. From top to bottom, everything delivered and the final two matches are more or less tied for Match Of The Year for me (Kurt Angle v Wolfe and Samoa Joe v Christopher Daniels v AJ Styles, for the record). Even Scott Steiner, who once wrestled a match so bad I built a scale for rating terrible matches around it, put on an entertaining match. Everyone was working hard and the booking was giving the fans what they wanted. Fantastic.

While the December show, Final Resolution, wasn't quite up to those standards, it was still a solid show, highlighted by a great title defence in the main event, with Styles defeating Daniels and Angle and Wolfe having an excellent "Three Degrees of Pain" match on the undercard. Then the rot set in.

You see, there is one thing that occurred during that three month period which I didn't mention, despite getting a metric fuck-ton of publicity from TNA - they acquired the services of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. This was a rather divisive move amongst fans. While Hulk is arguably still the biggest name in wrestling history and Bischoff lead WCW to its greatest success, Hulk is also known for surrounding himself with Yes Men and bringing his friends to the detriment of the product and Eric was also the man in charge of WCW when it made its biggest losses. What effect would this have on the promotion? Well, despite constant references to the Hulkster on both TV and PPV, we wouldn't find out until January as Hogan was touring in Australia. Not exactly off to a running start then.

However, things did start to look up again as it was announced that Hogan's debut would take place on a special three-hour live Impact, up against WWE's RAW. This was a bold move, but it got a lot of attention for the promotion and the show garnered their highest ever rating. In addition to Hogan and Bischoff, the show also featured the debuts of former World Champions Ric Flair and Jeff Hardy, as well as the Nasty Boys, Sean Morley and Orlando Jordan and the return of Shannon Moore, Scott Hall and Sean "Syxx-Pac" Waltman. The show went at a rapid pace and was exciting to watch, despite some flaws.

The real problems, however, were in the promotion of the next PPV. As Impact closed, only one match was actually set for Genesis and the PPV had barely been mentioned at all. While TNA did manage to put together a decent looking card on paper the week before the PPV, it was still a case of "too little, too late" and the show was a mess. Even the "can't miss" match of AJ Styles v Kurt Angle was turned into something just OK by terrible booking. What happened to TNA between December and January? Here's my diagnosis:

1) Too many wrestlers: TNA has nearly SEVENTY wrestlers on their pay roll (not counting announcers, interviewers and other non-wrestling personnel), with new wrestlers appearing nearly every week. In a non-PPV week, they have two hours of television. WWE's RAW (also two hours of TV) has half the number of wrestlers - and it also has time on the Superstars show to showcase its talent! This leads to a situations where wrestlers seem to drop of television without notice. For example, at Genesis, Beer Money defeated "The Band" (Nash and Waltman, doing nWo retread #546) in a heavily promoted match and Sean Morley pinned Christopher Daniels. Neither has been seen since. This devalues not just those wins, but the company as whole. Jeff Hardy (who was WWE Champion just last summer)is in the opening video to Impact but hasn't appeared since the three-hour special. If TNA doesn't care about the matches it puts on and the wrestlers it hires, why should the fans?

2) Weak, unoriginal booking: Tying closely in with point one above, the matches that do make it to TV tend to be thrown together without any long-term plan. The only match that is getting any build is Team 3-D vs The Nasty Boys. A match that no one not directly related to the people involved could possibly care about. Plot threads are dropped with no explanation (Remember when Nash was in the World Elite? Remember when there was a World Elite? Remember when Don West was Amazing Red's manager? Remember when Team 3-D were heels aligned with Rhino and Jesse Neal? The list goes on).

Furthermore, much of it is directly recycled from WWE and WCW. The ending to this week's Impact was a carbon copy of the imfamous Montreal Screwjob. If I was interested in seeing that rehashed (and frankly, twelve years after it happened, I'm not), I'd be watching Raw where they at least have the original participants involved. (Not to mention that AJ Styles simply DOESN'T WORK as a heel). In another example, Sting - after all the hype for his "retirement" at Bound For Glory - has reappeared with no fanfare doing the exact same act he was doing in WCW in 1997. If the story you're telling isn't interesting (or isn't even THERE) then I'm not going to watch it.

3) Cronyism: Isn't it funny that every new talent on the roster worked Hulk's Australian tour? And Hulk's radio buddy "Bubba The Love Sponge" now has a backstage interviewer position, while Jeremy Borash (who has worked harder for TNA backstage than anyone apart from founder Jeff Jarrett) is gone? And that the news guys, regardless of talent level, are getting stronger pushes than anyone in TNA before they arrived (AJ and Angle excepted)? Fans pick up on this, you know. And they don't like it. Bringing a new guy in and pushing him hard is fine. The fans loved Desmond Wolfe - but Wolfe could back it up in the ring. Desmond had two FANTASTIC matches in 2009. The Nasty Boys could even manage two wrestling moves in their first match.

4) Hogan himself: Is the Hulkster a heel or a face? He acts like a face backstage but when he gets in front of a crowd he starts berating the fans and running down their favourites. This isn't good. Hogan is clearly being positioned as the most important man in the company, so if even he can't be written consistently, it's not a good sign for the company. And if Hulk is not going to wrestle in TNA, as he claims, then why is he taking up a good quarter of every Impact?

That's a lot of problems to appear in a month - and that's why TNA is on notice. I don't have time to watch them spiral in 2000 WCW levels of crap, that was bad enough first time around. So they've got until Against All Odds to turn this ship around, or I'm out. Let's hope they manage it. They may have been a frustrating promotion to watch in the past, but this is just getting downright depressing.

Right, I'm getting this set up early so it's ready to go when the show starts. I'm doing this from the UK, so all timess are GMT.

20.19: Here's the card courtesty of 411:
* WWE Women's Title Match: Beth Phoenix © vs. Melina
* ECW Title Match: Jack Swagger © vs. Matt Hardy
* WWE Title Match: Jeff Hardy © vs. Edge
* World Title Match: John Cena © vs. JBL
* The Royal Rumble Match: Known Participants: HHH, The Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov, Shelton Benjamin, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, The Miz, John Morrison, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Kane, Santino Marella, R-Truth, THE Brian Kendrick, Carlito, CM Punk, Finlay, Mark Henry, Chris Jericho, The Great Khali, Chavo Guerrero

As for the seven open slots, I'll predict Primo, Ezekiel Jackson, Goldust, Jim Duggan, Honky Tonk Man, Scotty Goldman (more of a hope than an actual prediction) and Christian Cage.

00.54: The dramatic music on the PPV Channel is bloody annoying but there really is nothing else on.

00.57: And now there are adverts on the bloody thing. I've already paid for this, dammit!

01.00: The show is underway with a nice little video package. Randy Orton is getting hyped so much that part of me is thinking that he's not going to win now.

01.03: Oh Christ, they've busted out the super-serious voices over Vince getting Concussion Kicked by Randall.

01.05: And we're off with Matt Hardy v Jack Swagger. Matt looks a bit confused. Matt Striker enjoys seeing Swagger actually wearing the belt.

01.09: Matt Striker is a God of Commentary. I want a JR/Striker team NOW.

01.14: And Grisham brings things down. Apparently the European, Cruiserweight and US Titles aren't important anymore...

01.18: I go 1/1 on predictions are Swagger gets a pin with the Gutwrench powerbomb. Nice opener, with very strong arm psychology from thr ECW Champ. I'll give it ***.

01.20: Matt is very sad that he lost. And everyone is giving Randy Orton funny looks backstage. John Morrison in full regalia just wandering around is a great image.

01.21: Melina v Beth is up next, and Lawler is perving already.

01.24: VERY NICE! That could well be the sign of the night.

01.27: Modified single-leg crab from Phoenix. Nice bit of innovation from Beth, and Melina sells it well.

01.30: Terrible finishing sequence, but Melina has won the belt. 1/2 on Predictions, and the match gets *1/2.

01.35: Video package is more about HBK and JBL, than Cena v JBL - which is good because the match is going to suck.

01.38: JBL tries to talk HBK into costing Cena the match, with bribery and suggesting Shawn can go ahead and win the Rumble and get a rematch in their home state. Taker is NOT impressed with that idea, and lets Shawn know.

01.39: The economic downturn affects even Bradshaw, as he cannot afford his limo.

01.40: RAPADOOOO! Cena makes his entrance.

01.50: Shawn is CONFLICTED! The wrestling is BORING!

01.53: Somewhere in TNA, Homicide and Samoa Joe cry over seeing Cena desecrate the STF, after they got it over in North America again.

01.57: And Shawn superkicks them both, but puts JBL on top. Cena kicks out anyway.

01.58: Cena wins with the FU. Nothing stops SUPERJOHN! 2.5/3 as I predicted a DQ. Match is **.

02.02: Tazz shills the CD, JR shills the new videogame.

02.06: "Blame Edge". Well, that's to the point, certainly. Who makes a sign like that?

02.08: EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Vickie Guerrero has made the match No DQ, and Chavo is accompanying Edge to the ring.

02.10: Some decent recognition spots from Edge and Jeff here. Nice touch.

02.14: Chavo is heeling it up by WATCHING the match. No wonder he hasn't got any heat.

02.16: Wow, this No DQ stip is put to full effect here. A few chairshots would be OK, surely?

02.22: Chavo finally gets involved and takes a horribly botched splash through the Raw announce table for his trouble.

02.29: Matt turns on Jeff in the most telegraphed spot of the night so far.

02.30: That's enough for Edge to get the win and title. Decent opening but petered out toward the end. **3/4. Also, my predictions have gone to shit.

02.35: Grisham has been sent to the back to interview Orton, because no one cares about WWECW. Jericho seems to like him, but Orton thinks it's a strategy for the Rumble match. Y2J thinks Randy is getting fired. VERY interesting.

02.39: And we lose the feed for a second. That better not happen at the end of the match.

02.40: And Rey Rey is out first, and Lawler and Ross are calling the match.

02.42: John Morrison gets #2.

02.44: Carlito is #3, and he makes some waves in the ring.

02.45: Awesome double springboard moonsault press from Carlito.

02.46: #4 is MVP, who has lost a hell of a lot of steam over the last few months.

02.48: Khali is #5. BRAINCHOP~! for MVP.

02.49: Kozlov is out at #6 and he gets the first elimination on Khali.

02.50: Kozlov takes out MVP and Calito.

02.51: IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! And the Tripper goes straight after Vladimir.

02.52: Triple H eliminates the big Russian, and Randy Orton comes out #8.

02.54: JTG wins a rigged coin flip to get #9.

02.56: Ted DiBiase enters. Will he assist Orton? He's not doing much yet.

02.57: Chris Jericho makes his entrance, and goes straight after RKO.

02.59: Mike Knox enters as #12. Sadly Cole is not available to call him a bully.

03.01: The Miz enters. Is this the beginning of the end of M&M 2.0? They double team Orton, so the team could still be together.

03.02: M&M are gone, thanks to the Game, and Rey uses them as stepping stones to avoid elimination. Finlay is #14.

03.04: Here cometh Cody Rhodes and the Legacy are now all involved. They all target HHH.

03.05: Ring is really filling up, and here comes the Deadman to fix that.

03.07: EVERYONE stops fighting to freak out on Taker's entrance. JTG leaves quickly.

03.08: Brother v Brother as Goldust makes his entrance and goes straight after Cody.

03.09: Orton hits an RKO and lets Cody make the elimination on Goldust.

03.10: #18 is Punk who NAILS HHH with the Go2Sleep.

03.11: #19 is Mark Henry, who jogs to the ring. Someone REALLY needs to clear the ring pretty soon.

03.12: Shelton Benjamin is in, hoping to actually be allowed to stay in the match for a while this year.

03.14: Some impressively bounching Manboobs on Regal as he makes his entrace, and goes straight after Punk. Mark Henry is eliminated when no one was watching.

03.16: Kofi Kingston is #22. Lots of jumping but no elimations.

03.17: Undertaker eliminates Shelton Benjamin, as Kane makes his way down to the ring.

03.18: The Brothers of Destruction re-unite with a double chokeslam on DiBiase.

03.19: Punk eliminates Regal, and the ring is just not emptying. R-Truth is #24, sans rapping.

03.20: Rob. Van. Dam. Has he resigned or is it a one-shot deal?

03.22: THE Brian Kendrick makes an immediate impact by eliminating Kingston, but is then instantly eliminated by HHH.

03.24: Dolph Ziggler makes his entrance, and Kane shows him the exit.

03.25: Santino sets a new record for fastest elimination.

03.27: And the very first Rumble winner Jim Duggan is #29, and sweet Jesus, he just won a slugfest with the Undertaker.

03.28: WEEEEELLLL, it's the Big Show. And the fighting has stopped again, and he and Taker face off, but it's Kane who attacks.

03.30: Show eliminates Duggan. And this is the most people I've seen in the ring with no more entrants left.

03.33: The eliminations are speeding up, and Mysterio, Knox and Finlay are gone.

03.32: Show takes out Punk on about the 4th try.

03.34: Show and Taker once again face off. Punching ensues until Jericho takes on Show. Jericho eliminates RVD, but Taker is waiting for Y2J and he's gone soon after.

03.36: The Legacy triple teams Kane out of the match and then swarm UT. Show chokeslams HHH, but looks pretty damn tired.

03.37: Undertaker fights off the Legacy and goes BACK to Show. They fight out to the apron, but it's an RKO that finally puts him out.

03.39: Show pulls Taker off the apron and they fight off into the crowd.

03.40: And the final four are HHH and the Legacy. Trips tells them to suck it, but he gets a beatdown anyway.

03.41: DiBiase is gone, Rhodes is gone... and Randy follows through with the sneaky win.

03.42: A very uneven Rumble match, but quite enjoyable nonetheless. ***1/2.
Post-match, the Legacy celebrate in the ring.

03.44: Not a great show, but nothing too objecttionable. C+ overall. Damn shame Chrisitan never turned up.